Listening to music and zoning out and drawing is one of the holiest things in the world.

Current Music: The Smiths - Vicar in a Tutu

I applied at Blockbuster. I hope I get this job, because I need some work, bad.





In other news, this weekend looks very, very promising.

Current Music: Mogwai

I feel bad as fuck for Michael Vick. I'm not even kidding. A good chunk of America eats meat and, by doing so, supports much worse actions than what he did to those dogs. Don't get me wrong, I love dogs, and I think he should be punished or whatever. The whole country is trying to make itself look noble by bashing the fuck out of him while they have no room to talk. I don't think that just because an individual doesn't directly torture animals, it makes them somehow better than someone who does if they still whole-heartedly support an industry built around the violent slaughter of animals. Alls I'm saying is that it's pretty hypocritical to completely degrade this guy for something that we all indirectly take part in and make him our scapegoat. Bottom line: why do we value the lives and well-being of the world's dog population so much more than we value the lives and well-being of cows, pigs, chickens, etc.? It doesn't make any sense to me.


But what can I say? I'm no moral absolutist. Do whatever you want.

I just got done reading a paragraph in Ulysses that completely transcended what I thought words could accomplish. It's the most mind-blowing group of words I've ever laid eyes upon. I'll share it with you.




"UNSHEATHE YOUR DAGGER DEFINITIONS. HORSENESS IS THE WHATNESS OF ALLHORSE. STREAMS OF TENDENCY AND EONS THEY WORSHIP. GOD: NOISE IN THE STREET: VERY PERIPATETIC. SPACE: WHAT YOU DAMN WELL HAVE TO SEE. THROUGH SPACES SMALLER THAN RED GLOBULES OF MAN'S BLOOD THEY CREEPYCRAWL AFTER BLAKE'S BUTTOCKS INTO ETERNITY OF WHICH THIS VEGETABLE WORLD IS BUT A SHADOW. HOLD TO THE NOW, THE HERE, THROUGH WHICH ALL FUTURE PLUNGES INTO THE [FUCKING] PAST."



This also reinforces my view that James Joyce is definitely one of the greatest artists of all time. This passage shows me such depth of perception and such passion that it very nearly made me cry. I had to put it in all caps, because, if read aloud, it should be yelled. It should be yelled at the top of one's lungs from the most thunderously echoing valley in the world. The world's just so insanely deep and incomprehensibly huge and wondrous it's fuckin' INCREDIBLE. There shouldn't be a moment in life where a part of my brain isn't taking in the glory of it all. I think a lot of people view me as a bit of an idiot and I'm just extremely spacey and weird, and all that is true, but the reason for all of that is because philosophy has taken this wonderful hold of me and has shown me the wonders of the universe, which I'm constantly wandering through. I know that somehow, in the end, all of my basking in the rays of infinity will pay off. All I need to do is find is a way to do this and be productive at the same time (and I do think that's possible), then I'll be set for life. Every command of the brain is inhibited by the frontal lobe; if that inhibition weren't present, we would be capable of constantly doing things we can only dream of...it's just so interesting to think of the infinite possibilities present in any given blip of time and the complexities of the human body and mind. The astounding mass of the universe, and all the unseen vastness of ages of human perception is breathtaking. All I basically ask of people is for them to take the time to bear witness to the greatness and majesty they walk blindly through every single day.

Life is not good, it's AWESOME. And not in the sense common to the American vernacular; I mean in the traditional sense of "awe-inspiring". It's filled with joy and sorrow, beauty and despair; and if you judge all of it as a whole, there's no way you can confine it to the conceptually simple categories of "good" or "bad". The sheer existence of all that we can perceive is blissfully confounding in and of itself!






LOVE! (also a concept beyond good and bad),

Rainer K. Terranova

Current Location: real reality
Current Music: Eluvium

I used to be pretty religious, I know, but all of that ended with my philosophical upheaval that took place during February, mostly on my trip to California; which is surprising, because I was spending time with the person who initially sparked my interest in Christianity. Nevertheless, I've been reading up on Christianity a lot lately, observing everything from a newly atheistic viewpoint, and it's almost mind-blowing how much post-mortem control Jesus has on the masses. Furthermore, when you realize that there was a plethora of historians around Jesus's time and not one of them makes a mention of so iconoclastic a figure, and the earliest extant texts that refer to Jesus Christ were Paul the Apostle's letters, and that Paul never had any contact with "Jesus", but only saw him in visions, it's pretty fucking obvious that no messiah named Jesus ever once walked this earth or its many waters. Maybe that's a bold statement for a non-historian to make, but those previous facts seem to be such glaring proof of Jesus's non-existence that I don't understand how I could ever logically accept the idea that a guy who is sourced primarily from a vision almost 2000 years ago is my only key to a nice place I can only get to by dying, and if I don't do what this guy told me to do, then I'll go to some place that is inconceivably horrible. The whole thing sounds pretty damned childish. People will say that the accounts of his life are so detailed that they couldn't be made up, but take a look at how detailed Greek and Egyptian myths are. Take all that ancient creative energy and throw it all into the story of one man and the story of "His" life is not really that complicated. There are also suspicious parallels between every mystical facet of Jesus's life and numerous previous myths. If society progresses a bit (highly unlikely; we've never once progressed), maybe we'll realize that Christianity is just another mythological religion and we are just another empire who, for the most part, believes whole-heartedly in that myth, just like the Romans, the Greeks, the Egyptians, etc. The only way I will accept the fathers of the early church as anything but a bunch of irrational, misleading, awful people is if the whole of Christianity was really just some ancient attempt to fuck with people, kind of like the Spinal Tap of religion. Then all this talk of holy wars becomes really, really funny.

I really love my friends to death. I rarely say it, and a lot of the time I seem to thrive on being a dick to everyone, but I honestly don't mean any of it. I'm trying to distance myself more from that attitude and focus on being a lot nicer, not because I fear any kind of judgment, but because it just makes things a lot easier. Bottom line: I really appreciate everyone that I consider a friend, and I need to show it more. I can be such a prick sometimes, but it's gonna stop.

Current Location: The Smiths - Frankly, Mr. Shankly

I've been listening to the Misfits since 5th grade. I'm not stopping any time soon.

Current Music: The Misfits - Teenagers from Mars

More strangely promising coincidences keep happening to me, as if by magic. I think it's mostly a matter of mindset, and I guess it's just a new part of my life I've gotta accept (not like that's a hard thing to do).




Might take a trip back to California later in the year. This could be changed to Boston or Chicago, but I'm sorta leaning towards the Golden State. Pasadena really reminded me of a fucking amazing version of Metairie. It reminded me enough of home for me to feel comfortable, but there was much better food, better stuff within biking distance, and after a 15 minute drive from my friend's house, there's NATURE, goddammit! And it's not even close to being the best place in California, but it's where I'd be spending most of my time. Young Manock needs to get back from his European travels so we can make plans to wild out when I save up the money.







The Beatles and John Lennon are very...very...overrated. I guess pop revolution is the only revolution most people can identify with. Whatevs.

Current Music: Fiona Apple

For the past couple days I've been in this great mood. I don't know exactly what caused it. Well, I might, but let's not discuss that. It's just a genuinely pleasurable state of awareness and a general "who cares?" attitude and it feels wonderful. Really, that simple phrase is so beneficial in life. I mean, ultimately, who does care? It's amazing enough that we're even alive! How the hell did matter become arranged in such a way that allows it to question itself? I don't even know! Fuck it!

Hahaha!

CARPE DIEM, SON!!

Current Mood: TRANSCENDENT!
Current Music: Flower Travellin' Band - Louisiana Blues